Category Archives: Archives 5771

Sixty Minutes to Serenity

Av 5771 – Sixty Minutes to Serenity

 

Sixty Minutes to Serenity Av 5771
Sixty Minutes to Serenity
by Rabbi Yisroel Roll

 

The appreciation of one’s Tzelem Elokim “self” leads to an holistic wholeness and inner tranquility. This is known as your “neshama state”. This is your state of homestasis-a state of equilibrium and inner contentment. I call it the neshama state because it is the state of being which is aligned with Hashem. When in this state you are put in the state of “being” that Hashem intended for you as your Godly state because, while in this state, you are feeling connected to Hashem. This is a state of “daas”-knowledge of God-rather than merely belief in G-d. In this state you are experiencing Hashem-you are experiencing your own Tzelem Elokim. This is your closest connection to Hashem- and you feel relaxed, calm, at peace. You feel a sense of shleimus-wholeness-in this state everything is clear-you can do anything.

You can put yourself into your Neshama State by experiencing your finest Godly midah-attribute. You can access this state by first imagining a beautiful landscape or place that you find relaxing and rejuvenating. It may be the Grand Canyon, the beach or a sunset in Israel. Go to that place in your mind and describe the landscape to yourself with all its colors, sounds and scents. Feel the place. Experience the sense of calm and relaxation that you feel in this place. Now, realize that the reason you have this feeling of calm which arises when you go to this place of external beauty is because it merely reflects the Grand Canyon, the beach or the sunset, that resides in your inner self. Search your mind, psyche and soul and find the warmest, most sensitive and relaxed part of yourself. That is the Grand Canyon, beach or sunset in you.

This feeling of wholeness and wholesomeness inside your psyche is there because the Grand canyon inside you represents and actually is your awareness of your highest and best attribute-your midda tova. Which one or two of the following is your highest midda-perseverance, never giving up, leadership, encouraging others, That is we we feel calm and expansive when we see a beautiful place…it mirrors our own beautiful place, inside. When we focus and contemplate this place-the place where our best attributes reside –the core of our real selves-then we experience shleimus. This is the real you. How so? Hashem is the only true Reality in the universe because He relies on no one-he is totally independent of any other cause. He is the First Cause (Rambam-Hilchos Yesodei Hatorah 1:1) and therefore is the only true independent Reality. Hashem blew part of His Independent Reality into you-when He created your neshama. Your neshama is a breath from Hashem-as neshama comes from the word neshima-breath. So the only REAL part of you is that part which reflects the true Reality-Hashem. What do we know about the reality that is Hashem? Only that which He has told us about Himself-that He is

Hashem, Hashem,Kel, Rachum, VChanun, Erech Apayim, Rav Chesed V’Emes, Notzer Chessed L’alaphim, Noseh Avon, Vaphesha, V’Chataah Vnakeih…..Shmos

That part of you which is your highest and best attribute –which is a reflection of Hashem’s attributes-is the real part of you. When you live these attributes then you are bringing G-d into the world through your bechirah-your free will. These attributes, when brought into human terms, are:

Hashem Hashem-consistency, never giving up, perseverance
Kel-Power and Leadership
Rachum-Compassion
Chanun-Graciousness, Empathy, Sincerity
Erech Apayim-Patient, Mellow, Laid Back
Rav Chessed-Loving-kindness
Emes-Truth
Nozer Chessed-Creativity with ideas, music, art
Noseh Avon Vaphesah VChataah-Forgiving nature
Nakei-Purity-the real overall reason you were sent into the world. (The discovery of this reason takes a lifetime so be patient)

When you contemplate, recognize and activate that attribute- the real part of your “self”, then you are truly alive-and that is why you feel shleimus. When you are in this state of being nothing can throw you off track-because you are connected with truth-you know the truth. Thus is what daas means-knowledge means connection-or chibur-to the truth.

You don’t believe it to be true-you know it is true.

In this state of being, doubts and “thinking” are irrelevant. Thoughts are merely electrical impulses form the brain-they are not real. Sometimes you have positive thoughts which lead to good feeling, good mood and positive sensations in your body. Sometimes we have anxious thoughts, which lead to tense feelings, a depressed mood and stress in your body. Thoughts fluctuate and cause our moods to fluctuate. These thoughts are part of the world of fantasy-they are not real. The way to avoid the mood swings brought on by fluctuating anxious thoughts is to leave your head space-leave your thoughts-and go to your neshama state. There, no thoughts are relevant-because you are connected to truth itself-to your G-dly self.

Yisroel Roll is an innovative psychotherapist and a lawyer who specializes in divorce mediation. He has seen and managed and facilitated both sides of the story: marriages that turn around and marriages that unravel. He has discovered the antidote to the 50% divorce rate and the untold emotional pain that it causes and shares his unique strategy in Shut Up and Stay Married-The Secret to Marriage Success, released by Leviathan in April, 2011.

Rabbi Roll began his career in Toronto, as a criminal defense and litigation lawyer. He took time off to study in Jerusalem and then served as the rabbi of the New West End Synagogue in London, England where he breathed new life into the community from 1991-1997. He founded the Encounter Conference in London in 1996 which attracted thousands to educational seminars. He returned to the US in 2000, received his Masters Degree in Clinical Counseling at Johns Hopkins University and opened a psychotherapy practice in marriage counseling. He has developed a unique counseling approach which breaks through to the core issue of the marriage very quickly and helps transform the marriage.

Rabbi Roll has psychotherapy offices in Lakewood, New Jersey, Baltimore, Maryland and Toronto, Ontario. His law practice is based in Toronto where he was called to the Ontario Bar as a Barrister and Solicitor in 1983. He has developed a new type of therapy called Identity Therapy which helps clients discover much more than self esteem. He helps them discover the “self.” Roll says, “Once a client discovers his or her true strengths and life mission, the marriage issues untangle and a solution strategy emerges.”

Rabbi Roll is a motivational speaker and lectures around the world on parenting, happiness and overcoming life’s challenges. His seminars and workshops are interactive and invites participants to introspect and discover their inner strengths, values and motivations. One seminar, called Step up to the Plate, uses baseball as a metaphor for life and helps people learn that they have already have the ability to hit a home run in the opportunity called life. Roll helps them discover their dormant abilities and helps them access their subconscious mind “which is the key to unlocking your potential,” says Roll.

Rabbi Roll has founded the Life Task Force which promotes L.I.F.E-Living Inspired and Fully Everyday. He has developed a 12 step program to achieve self esteem at www.12steps2selfesteem.com and has developed 12 step programs for teens, a 7 week self esteem diet program and an anti drug abuse program called Just Say Know. “If you know your own worth and value, you’ll stop wanting to escape from life’s challenges,” says Roll. “You’ll be empowered to meet those challenges head on,” he adds.

Rabbi Yisroel Roll is a licensed experiential gestalt therapist who uses meditation and role playing to have clients experience life, rather than merely talk about the issues. “I facilitate a process where people encounter themselves. I help them face their fears and access their aspirations which often lie untapped and buried under layers of put- downs, negativity and emotional abuse. When we clear away the emotional pain, the true self emerges and the person is liberated. The client can them move toward self actualization,” says Roll.

 

Shut Up and Stay Married is Yisroel Roll’s fifth book. Here are some links to Rabbi Roll’s other books: http://encounterusa.com/index.php/books and http://anxietytherapy.org/index.php/books-by-yisroel-roll

Archives

Yom Kippor 5771 – The Fashion Show – by Michelle Young Mond

Tishrei 5771
The Fashion Show
By Michelle Young Mond, Sharfmans 04-06

It’s one of the most important days of the year, Everyone will be there,
You have to dress your best, or everyone will stare.
Spending hours in the store, finding the most flattering, slimming dress,
With those matching peep-toe stilettos, your preparations a success.
For your kids, only the finest Chanel and Louis Vuitton,
And your teen girls dressed in the tightest silk and pink chiffon.
All ready for the day, ready for your fashion show,
You and your children walk the run-way, off to synagogue you go.

Holding your prayer-book, thoughts run through your mind,
“What’s with that lady’s outfit? She must be color blind…”

“Oh no, the wind messed up my hair, I hope I look okay.”
Thoughts keep swirling in your mind, while the others pray.
The focus of your preparations, the lack of priorities,
Put the spotlight on your externals, It’s the people who you need to appease.

My child you think that people are judging you, that’s why your focus is on looking your best,
The truth of the matter is that it’s all just a mind-game, for you it’s just a test.
It’s not the people who are looking, or judging what you wear outside,
It’s Me, Hashem, who’s judging you, and I only care about what’s inside.
You spent so many hours preparing, in just the wrong way,
You were focused on what others would think, or anticipating what others would say.
Did you once sit down in front of your King and thank him for your life?
Instead of sitting in front of the mirror, making sure your make-up was 100% right?

I’m the only one judging you on this judgment day,
And all you have to think about is how attractive you’ll look while you “pray”?
Of course you should look presentable; I want you to look nice and fine.
You’re a bas-Melech and you should dress as such, but not making your tznius borderline.
I love you my child, and I know you did not realize,
So hopefully next time you’ll know how to prioritize.
I’m judging your character and middos, how you treat human-kind,
And on top of all of that, I would like you to look refined.

I’ve given you a body to clothe the neshama, and it acts like a shell,
When your neshama was brought down it needed a body in which it would dwell.
After 120 years, your body lifts off like a coat,
And what’s left are all the internal things you used life to promote.
Remember that I love you, and focus on what’s important today,
Remember that I’m the only one judging, and I can’t wait to hear you pray.

features

Yom Kippor 5773 – A Teshuva Tip – by Rabbi Zave Rudman

Tishrei 5773 
A Teshuva Tip
by Rabbi Zave Rudman

Rabbi Rudman was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. He has learned in the Mir in NY, and Chofetz Chaim both in Yerushalyim and Queens. His major influence in Yeshiva was Rav Moshe Chait ZT”L, the Rosh Yeshivah of Chofetz Chaim in Yerushalayim. In addition he studied under Rabbi H. Liebowitz and Rav Laizer Ploshinsky ZT”L, and continues to be a Talmid to the great Rabbonim in Yerushalayim. He teaches in several of Yerushalayim’s seminaries, and he lives in Ramot, Yerushalayim with his wife and children, and grandchildren nearby.


Rosh Hashana 5771 – Curving and Bending to Hashem – by Rabbi Avigdor Brazil

Rosh Hashana 5771
Curving and Bending to Hashem

Rabbi Avigdor Brazil was born in London, England. He attended Yeshivas Baer Yaakov and the Mir Yeshiva. For over 20 years he was the Mashgiach Ruchani in a prominent boys yeshiva. Today, Rabbi Brazil, is a Rosh Kollel as well as a Magid Shiur, and he is Rav of a vibrant kehillah in Yerushalayim. He teaches in several seminaries and lectures all over to many different types of people, as he has a unique and special way of giving deep concepts over to others and making them easily understood. He resides in the Bayit Vegan neighborhood of Yerushalayim with his family.

In Maseches Rosh Hashanah, Rashi states that the reason we use a curved Shofar on Rosh Hashonoh is because davening is a humbling experience as enacted through bowing and bending. In addition we try and activate the zchus of the Akaidah using a curved rams horn.

Perhaps Rashi is telling us something deeper.

The Akaidah – the greatest feat of any man ever – was clearly an act of complete capitulation. Avraham’s only son, his whole invested future, the budding and only Godol Hador, the one he had nurtured and developed for forty years was to be “given” up to Hashem. In addition, Avrahams’ whole understanding of Hashem was overturned, his whole philosophy of life was challenged. Avraham Avinu declared with this magnificent act, his complete and utter humility and demonstrated practically a clear understanding that he was a part of Hashem’s world and not vice versa.

This is absolute emunah and anavah. This is the declaration of Malchus on Rosh Hashonoh.

You are the Boreh ……we are the Nivroim. We must realize and be Mekabel that Hashem writes the script and that all is Ratzono.

All our plans, both material and even more so spiritual, all our hopes and ambitions our dreams and visions, our understanding of our Tachlis must in humility be revised to fit in with His Will, His Ratzon. (this theme is echoed in all the Krios and Haftoros on Rosh Hashanah)

When we hear the curved shofar blast and invoke the z’chus Avos, remember to sincerely commit to bend our will to that of Hashem.

We must live our lives, not necessarily according to what we want, but to learn how to live with simchah and with emunah with what Hashem has in mind for us.

This is a main idea of Rosh Hashanah – Anu amecha V’Ata Malkeinu – we are Your nation and You, Hashem, are our King.

Rosh Hashana 5771 – Being A Faithful Ambassador for Hashem – by Mrs. Chana Silver

Rosh Hashana 5771
Being a Faithful Ambassador for Hashem

For a bio on Mrs. Chana Silver see our Who’s Who

Many people wonder why Rosh Hashana comes before Yom Kippor. On Rosh Hashana there is no mention of teshuva, it is mostly all about crowning Hashem as king, whereas on Yom Kippor it is all about teshuva! Why not do it the other way?! Do teshuva on Rosh Hashana and then you can really connect and re-establish Hashem as king on Yom Kippor – doesn’t that make more sense?

There are several answers to this question. One answer that the ba’alei mussar explain is that if a person did it visa versa – their teshuva would just be lip service, because during the course of the year we can easily loose focus of who Hashem is and who we really are, and we many not be fully cognizant of the impact of the deeds that we have done in Hashem’s world.

To this end they explain that we should see ourselves as a Tzir Ne’eman a Faithful Ambassador for Hashem. You are a loyal and trustworthy servant of The Master. You are on a mission from GD. The task – to spread Hashem’s Malchus in the world and Kavod Shamayim.

Just as an ambassador or diplomat represent the king and country whom they come from, You represent Hashem. All of a person’s activities and conduct in the world should be to this end. With these thoughts in mind, a person can truly refocus Who Hashem is and who they themselves really are.

You aren’t a nobody. Your every action and endeavor matters – infinitely. You make a difference in the world with your behavior, thoughts, speech, dress – YOU are a Faithful Ambassador on a mission from GD! Your deeds aren’t in a vacuum!

Going into Rosh Hashana with this thought, can help and empower you to feel Hashem’s presence more clearly and with honor to re- crown Him as King, to understand your role in this world more deeply, and properly live through Aseres Yemai Teshuva and then do real teshuva on Yom Kippor.

You are an important person with a big job to do!! You should have great success!!

K’siva V’chasima Tova
With Warmest Wishes,
Chana