Category Archives: Archives 5764


Teves 5764 – Dating A Guy You’re Going to Break Up With

15 Teves 5764

L’chvod HaRav,

Is it permissible to go on a date with a guy whom you will probably break up with… especially if he is going to pay?


Thank you for your interesting question. If you are only going out with him to lead him on and have a good time at his expense, this would of course be forbidden because of Geneivas Daas. However, if there is even a slight possibility that you would be interested in marrying him if he would manage to impress you on the date, it is permissible, and of course a Mitzvah to see him. Also, if you know that he is not for you, but you agreed to see him again so as not to hurt his feelings by dropping him after one date, it is also permitted and a Mitzvah to see him again. It makes no difference in either of the above cases whether or not he is going to pay.

Take care,

Rabbi Aaron Tendler


Kislev 5764 – Looking at Xmas Lights

1 Kislev 5764

Looking at Xmas Lights

Lichvod HaRav,
I was having an argument with someone about this topic — what’s the storywith looking at X-mas lights!? Is it permitted or not — and why or
why not — Thanks so much!

Diana BenMergui,
Michlalah 5752

Dear Diana,

Thanks for your interesting question.
The only prohibition to look at X-mas lights might be is they are used for Avodah Zara, and you are actually benefiting from them by looking at them. Even if we assume that Christianity is Avodah Zara, the lights are not part of their worship, to the best of my knowledge. Also, most lights that are in urban areas, such as in malls and department stores are not part of a religious service at all, but rather used as a way to attract buyers to come shop. Additionally, merely looking at them would not be considered a Hana’ah- benefit. Consequently, there is no Issur to look at X-mas lights if you happen to be passing by them. I don’t think that it would be appropriate to specifically stop for the purpose of admiring them, but I’d be hard pressed to find a basis upon which to rule that even that would be forbidden according to Halacha.

Take care,

Rabbi Aaron Tendler